Praying for freedom

I've heard you go through this, so many times before... and at the rate we're going, I know there's gonna be much more...

You tell me how angry you are, for the hurt you have suffered, how you feel injustified and that you deserve so much better. But my dear, I feel like asking you, whatever happen that day on the altar. How a sacred vow could have been taken so lightly, especially by someone as intelligent as you. I really cannot understand.

I have always tried to be there for you, because I know that while the mistake you made is a serious one, it is also one that could possibly happen to me. So I made up my mind, not to judge, and do to you, what I would you do to me.

I see how depressed this thing has made you, it's taken away your joy... like a parasite, it's eating you alive from the inside, until sometimes I realise that what I see, is becoming more and more of an empty shell, devoid of a soul of its own... only a mindless creature consumed by nothing but sadness and anger.

Sadness and regret about the decision that you made, and anger with the world or even God for allowing this to happen to you. I believe that God has not chosen this for you, we choose our own paths, but God allows us to venture our way, because behind every door opened, there's a lesson to be learnt. Although it is easy for us to walk out if we see something that we do not like, but closing a door and walking out means that we give up the chance to emerge from the other end of this tunnel, with a new perspective and one more battle overcome.

Seeing you sad and angry pains me, my heart hurts so much because I know you deserve so much more. We know you have made a mistake somewhere along the line, so why make another mistake by hanging on to the anger? It only allows the mistake to continue ripping damage. Someone told me, he held on to anger long enough, we learn to accept it as part of our life, and turn it into our source of strength, one day we realise, we can't let go of that anger anymore, because we do not want to lose our source of strength... I don't understand how that can be, because I can't bear the heaviness of that burdensome sadness, I was not made to be angry, or depressed... I don't know if anyone is made like that.

That healing cannot come from you, if it can, you would have been healed long ago. If i could, I'd wave this all away with a magic wand of mine. But I can't. And I know a thousand and one worldly ways to solve this problem but I also know that these are just going to rip you apart at the end. The only other alternative, is to go to Him... while He is waiting unconditionally with open arms... you know He's been waiting for you, and He always will, no matter how many times we have disappointed Him... It's His deal with us, and there's no way He's going back on His word. I'll be praying for you, everyday... not for this thing to go away, but that one day, you will not only be released from this physically, but that you will be set free, truly... spiritually...